Ask This, Not That: How to Support a New Mom

A new mom has been asked a thousand times "How did your birth go?"  It is a simple question that is intended to show interest and care for what a new mom has gone through.  Often times it asked casually in a social situation and the expected answer is the Medical Story.  You know... how long was labor, how fast did you dilate, were there any interventions, and what was the final outcome, etc?  New moms may find great refuge in a question like this, as the answer can be fairly straightforward and safe. (And there is certainly a time and place for this type of question and answer. A new mom may not want to get into all the details with an acquaintance or someone they barely know!)  However, birth is SO MUCH MORE than the Medical Story.  If you've got a new mom in your life, especially someone you are close to, instead of asking her how her birth went, find out how she is different now that she is a mom.  Give her the opportunity to go beyond the surface facts and share with you how her birth really transformed her. Another version:  How are you different now that you're a mom?