This quote pops up all the time when someone is looking for birth affirmations, inspiring birth quotes, and general encouragement for labor. I can see why:   It seems positive. It seems empowering. It certainly makes you feel good.  But I don't like it.  In fact, I cringe a little every time some well-intended  birth person posts it on  her FB page.   I get it, I really do.  There are enough things out there which cause us to doubt ourselves as women; messages which bombard us daily telling us we're not good enough, not smart enough or not strong enough.  So what's the matter with a little positive affirmation?  Right?

Why don't you ask someone who truly did "believe she could" with all her heart... and then didn't. 

Ask the mama who did everything "right" for the natural birth she hoped for. She ate right, she exercised right,she trusted her body.  She believed she could do it......But then her baby inexplicably flipped breech at 41 weeks and she had a cesarean birth.

Ask the mama who hoped for a VBAC and did everything in her power to avoid a cesarean, including: only reading positive birth stories, choosing not only a VBAC friendly doctor, but a VBAC supportive doctor,  hiring a doula, working through her fears, etc.  And most importantly, trusting in her body, trusting in birth (whatever THAT means? I sense a future post on this one.) She truly believed she could do it.....Only to have a repeat cesarean.

Ask the mama who grew up around natural birth, who saw her sisters, aunts and cousins labor normally. Who truly believed that she could do it.... only to have her labor progress so quickly and intensely she felt completely out of her mind and out of control... petrified and scared to death.

The message this quote subtly sends is: if you just believe hard enough, you will have the birth you desire. And if you don't have your "ideal" birth, then you didn't believe enough -- Like somehow you have a say in what happens, or that you have some control over the outcome of your birth.  Ha!  No way!

Let's look at this quote with a fresh perspective-- one that isn't focused on the outcome of the birth, which can lead to disappointment, feelings of failure, and birth trauma. The only way this quote will work is to  ask, "WHAT is being believed in?"  She believed she could... do WHAT? We must remove the outcome- focus in order for this sentiment to be truly beneficial to laboring moms.

 The next time you see this quote pop up in your news feed, gently ask the mama WHAT it is  she believes she can do.  If she is focused on the outcome of the birth, remind her that she has no control of this part of her birth.  She can however, do her best, bring all her love and attention to the birth as it unfolds, and stay connected to herself (intuition) and her baby.   When this occurs, dare I say, it almost won't matter what the outcome is.

So, ,The following is part of  a series of posts detailing the information in my free download: 26 Ways to Prepare Your Heart for Birth.

Do you have a favorite song?
I know.... loaded question, huh?
Can you name just one favorite? 
I can't... there are way too many.  But I can name songs that were important during certain times of my life. 
 We Built This City is the first song I remember absolutely loving. I must have been about 9 years old and I can still see myself on the airplane, having just discovered the world of pop music on the free airplane radio.  I couldn't wait to hear that song over and over as it cycled through over the course of our four-hour plane ride. There are many other songs that pop into my head and are connected to memories throughout my life.

Walk like an Egyptian is my seventh grade best friend.
True Blue  is dancing around my living room, punked-out with a high pony-tail and lace gloves.
The Joker and Steve Miller Band is the first concert I ever went to.
Crash is my college apartment.
Pachelbels Cannon in D is walking down the aisle. 
Your My Home is my husband.
Daughters is my first pregnancy.
Praise You in This Storm is nursing my second baby.

Whenever I hear one of these songs the words come pouring out of me.  I don't even need to think about it, they just come.  I crank up the volume, and rock out while doing the dishes, running errands, or working out.

Songs can have a powerful connection to the moment. They can transport us back in time and they can anchor us in the present.  The next time a song you love comes on, stop what you're doing. Bring all your attention and awareness to the moment and sing your heart out!  Allow time to stand still for the length of the song. Set down your anxieties, your worries, your fears, and your present stresses. (Don't worry, they'll be there for you to pick up when the song is over!) Be in the  moment and ROCK OUT!!  

Singing lullabies to children has a long, rich tradition throughout history. (I can still hear my grandmother singing Jesus Loves Me when she would babysit and tuck me in at night.) For centuries parents have sung to children to soothe, to put to sleep, to comfort, and to connect.  You may even recall some traditional lullabies you like to sing to your baby.  They don't have to be traditional either. Any song, can be a lullaby, it need only come from your heart.  In fact, my husband used to sing Ramble On by Led Zeppelin to our daughters!   Here's a list of some modern lullabies to sing, as well as some old favorites.

Whether you fancy yourself singer, or you're like me, and can barely carry a tune, you will find wonderful connection to your baby and feel your heart opening up a bit more when you sing. So,  make some time today... and SING!!

In the comments, let us know: What are your favorite songs to rock out to?  Do you have a favorite lullaby you like to sing?

The intent behind Humble Beginnings Birth Services is to walk with you on your path to parenthood; to be there when you have questions, when you need encouragement, or when you need a shoulder to cry on.  I have met some wonderful women who share the same heart as I do for supporting new and expecting moms.  These gals are so special I want you to know about them too! If you are drawn to working with me, I know for sure you will love knowing Your Village!

The days immediately after birth are usually a blur for new moms and dads.  What is your set-up like and how do you take care of these new parents?
My goal is to make parents feel comfortable and right at home.  I give them quite a bit of information ahead of time (before the baby is born) to help prepare them so that once they come to the studio they know exactly what is going to happen and they can be at ease.  The studio is equipped with comfortable rocking chair, changing station, a couch for lounging, snacks and more.  I tell the parents to kick back, relax and have a couple hours of free time.  I even offer for them to take a little nap because I know they are sleep deprived!

What would you say to a pregnant mom who isn't sure about leaving the house and getting put together for photos so soon after giving birth?
Often times the visit to my studio is the first time moms have left the house since they gave birth and yes, it can be a bit nerve-racking!  I literally tell them that all they have to do is get here with the baby and I’ll take care of the rest.  The studio is clean and we take every precaution to ensure that our newborn clients are safe and in good hands.  
For the parents, I know they are super sleep deprived and not feeling at the top of their game but I always encourage them to be in the pictures.  This often takes a little more encouragement for the moms but the best images I have produced of moms and babies are those that are simply showing that amazing connection the mom has with her baby . . . no makeup, no fancy clothes or done up hair . . . even no shower sometimes!

Tell me a little bit about how you got started photographing newborns.
This is a long winded answer but important and one that I think a lot of moms can relate to.
I went to college for accounting, became a CPA and was climbing that corporate ladder.  I LOVED my job and I was super passionate about it.  I met my husband in my late 20‘s, we got married in my early 30’s and then headed off on the journey of starting our family.  I was 33, a division controller for a avionics manufacture, working about 50+ hours a week and on maternity leave.  I was all set to head back into life as I knew it and I literally woke up one morning and had an epiphany!  I needed to stay home!  This came as quite a shock to my husband since we were a dual income family and I had NEVER mentioned wanted to stay home . . . like ever!  My husband was fabulous and supported my decision and we somehow made it work.  18 months later we had our second daughter.  Staying at home was nothing like I ever imagined it would be . . . it was really HARD but it was what I knew I was supposed to be doing.  Still, a piece of me felt missing and I knew to be a better mom, wife and overall to keep my sanity, I needed to find that something to get back to me.  BUT I didn’t want to go back into my career and accounting . . . that felt like centuries ago that I was that person.  I had to find the new me and reinvent myself.  
And so I started Susan {d} Photography!  I told my husband I was going to work at it for a year and see if this was really something I could do.  I never turned back!  That was 2009 and my goal was to work my photography business part-time around my girls schedules until they were off to school and then I wanted to have a thriving business.  Well my girls are in 2nd and 3rd and I am right where I want to be!

What is your favorite part of your job?
I definitely love love snuggling the newborns!  Each time I have a newborn in my studio I am reminded of the miracle these babies are and I feel so honored to get to capture their start in the world!  

The other part of my job that I love is the joy on my client’s faces when they watch their slideshow and see their images for the first time. It is one of the most fulfilling parts of my job because I get to see the emotion and know that I have created something special and lasting for these wonderful families I work with.

Aside from your style, which people can see when they look at your photos, what makes Susan{d} Photography unique and sets you apart from other photographers?
Susan {d} Photography is a full photography experience.  From the moment a client contacts us we are 100% focused on making their experience the best it possibly can be.  We have spent countless hours working on items that will enhance our clients experience such as:  pre session documentation to help our clients prepare for their sessions, developing a product line to meet the needs of our clients, to a full service post session viewing appointment to help our clients decide on artwork for their home.  Customer service and client satisfaction is what drives all our decisions and ultimately we want our clients to not leave their experience with Susan {d} Photography as clients but as friends!

You have two children of your own, and you've worked with many newborn babies. Any words of advice or encouragement for a new mom or dad?
Absolutely!  First of all I would say . . . there is no one size fits all to parenting!  So just because Karen down the street is breastfeeding her child to the age of 3 doesn’t mean that is the right choice for you.  And just because Amy is a stay at home mom and makes all her babies food from scratch and organic, that doesn’t mean you have to.  
Parenting is about finding what fits for YOUR family and what works for countless other parents may not work for you.  And it is OKAY!  Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about the decisions and choices you make.
In addition I would recommend to new parents to find their peeps!  And I don’t mean the ones you find at Easter.  Search and search until you find that one or those few people you can really rely on.  People who get you, don’t judge your choices and truly support you.  These people are not always easy to find but they are out there.  
It takes a village I always say!

You can find out more about Susan {d} Photography at 720-255-8116
info@susandphotography.com
www.susandphotography.com
www.facebook.com/susandphotography
instagram.com/susandphotographs