Having a newborn in the home can take up most of your time, energy and attention. It is no surprise that new parents often feel the strain of sleepless nights and the added stress on their relationship. Too often the things you loved to do together as a couple take a backseat to diaper changes, feeding schedules and naps. Unfortunately, couples often complain that they don't have the time, let alone the energy, to have a regular date night. Becoming a parent requires sacrifice, yes, however, it does not have to come at the expense of your relationship with your partner. In fact, taking time to do the things which bring you bliss, both personally and as a couple, will model to your children how to live a full, balanced life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.... Blah, Blah, Blah. You've heard it all before. You KNOW you need to make time for yourself. You KNOW you need to make time for your partner. You KNOW you need take time as a couple. You KNOW it's good for everyone. And yet... it can be so damn hard!! If this sounds familiar to you, you need The Bliss List!
Bliss n. perfect happiness; great joy
So simply put, The Bliss List is a list of things which have brought you bliss in the past. You and your partner are going to agree to encourage and support each other in accomplishing the things on this list during the first year of parenthood. Finding bliss, especially in the first year of your baby's life, will make you a better parent, partner, and person. There are two parts to The Bliss List:
PART ONE: Do this part separately
Separately, write down three things which bring each of you bliss. You know...the things which make you YOU. Your thing. What brings you great joy and refreshment? It can be big or little, but just remember that you'll have to accomplish each of these things during your first year of parenthood. (A ski trip to the Alps may be out of the question.) Make it doable, but not mundane. Reasonable, but special.
PART TWO: Do this part together
Now, work together and write down three things which bring you bliss as a couple. Think back to when you first started dating. What did you love to do? Maybe there is a special place you haven't been to in a while, or a concert you've been dying to see. Write these three things down. Remember, these are things which bring you bliss as a couple and you've got one year to do them.
Now, put your Bliss List someplace where you'll see it and be reminded of it often. Pledge to each other that you will support one another in checking off your personal list, and that you'll work together to accomplish your couple list. Let the bliss-ing begin!
If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you... I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be... wherever you are-- if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time...